Before I got here, I considered myself a pretty patient person. I don't know if it's the situation or the kids or what, but I'm not so sure I am anymore. When these kids' behavior has me on the verge of snapping, then I know it's really bad. I almost snapped today in class. I was bending down to help one student and I had another kid incessantly tapping me on the back, another just as incessantly pulling on my shirt, and 3 others shoving their notebooks in my face all shouting "Professora!" in unison. This is daily. This is constant. Every person has a different breaking point right?? I understand lots of children are like that but I am attempting to show them that that is not how to behave in the classroom. I can yell "wait your turn" until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't make a difference. I'm no teacher, and I will never claim to be, but if these kids are never disciplined how will they ever learn what correct, acceptable behavior is?
This is why I, and other volunteers here, find this job to be so exhausting. I am only there for 3-4 hours a day which is nothing but it is so mentally and emotionally draining to feel sometimes like you are failing. Failing to help these children succeed in learning and failing to make any sort of difference in the way they behave. A lot of what I do is to try and enforce good behavior and manners (say please and thank you, wait your turn, raise your hand etc), but without the power to hold these children accountable for their own actions, things are hard pressed to change. There is no such thing as "time out" or not being allowed to go out for recess so the children don't have as good a sense for their bad behavior.
The education system here needs so much work it's hard to even wrap your head around it. I know that in some small, minuscule way I am hopefully helping by being here the short time that I am but it's impossible for any one person to make a real difference. And that can be very frustrating for the volunteers here.
End rant.
In other news, I found an ice cream place where I can get a double scoop for under $1.
#seeifimnotthereeverysinglenight
